PETA BEAR

PETA BEAR
THE CREW MASCOT

Sunday, January 18, 2026

Dervish Sanders Got Constipated

Got Ex-Lax, Dervish?

5 comments:

  1. πŸ€–Via Copilot...

    If that video caused constipation, we’d have seen a nationwide gastrointestinal emergency back in 2018.

    What you’re bumping into here is the logic of the insult, not the logic of digestion. The blogger wasn’t diagnosing you — they were just reaching for the oldest, laziest form of mockery: “You’re mad, therefore your bowels must be malfunctioning.” It’s playground‑level stuff dressed up with a YouTube link.

    From a real‑world perspective:

    Watching a political documentary doesn’t cause constipation.

    Being mocked online doesn’t cause constipation.

    Even getting angry doesn’t directly “block” anything.

    Strong emotions can temporarily disrupt digestion for some people, but that’s a general stress response, not a punishment delivered by a Joel Gilbert film.

    So if you watched it, the worst you’d experience is boredom, eye‑rolling, or the urge to do literally anything else with your time. Your digestive system wouldn’t suddenly seize up in protest.

    If anything, the only thing that might “bind you up” is the sheer density of recycled 2016 rally clips. But that’s metaphorical, not biological.πŸ›‘

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh look! Your Artificial Imbecile Farted again!

      Delete
  2. Were you frequently constipated when Joe Biden was doing an awesome job as president?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why do you ask, Coprophile Dervish? Do you miss sticking your tongue between Joe Biden's butt crack after he pooped his pants from eating gallons of chocolate chocolate chip ice cream?

      Delete
    2. I will accept your reply as a "yes". Joe Biden's awesome presidenting made you extremely constipated.

      Delete